Jordan's birthday was over the weekend and I decided to make him a little garland counting all the way to his age. I had friends and family send me some of their favorite memories of Jordan and I put one on the back of each number. I had so much fun reading everyone's memories. Some of them were things I didn't even know about. It made me fall in love with him all over again.
I don't talk about it a lot, but having this guy gone Monday through Friday every week is really awful. I mean, things like this, you learn how to deal with it and you try and appreciate the time you do have. But dropping him off every Sunday is only getting harder and harder. I have been thinking about this a lot amongst a million other things and I have been comforted by a few things. I have been through some crappy situations in the last five years, but ya know what? All of those things eventually came to an end. Someday, probably even later this year, I will look back at this and think, "Look, it's over. That is just something that happened now." Just like the memories glued to the back of each number, they happened and that was that. Most of the time, like when I am driving away on Sunday night, I am looking at my life through a pinhole: I can only see what is going on right now. But sometimes I let myself look at my life as a whole and I can see that things are going to be okay.