2.08.2013

Vunerable

Can I be honest for a minute? The last few weeks I have felt very vulnerable. New jobs and new responsibilities will do that to you. I cannot explain how much I dislike the feeling of stepping out of my comfort zone. I cannot explain how badly I want to retreat when the vulnerability bug starts eating at me. But you know what? I cannot explain how fulfilling it is to complete difficult tasks. To come home at the end of the day and know that those feelings of discomfort are stretching me and opening doors to new experiences. Vulnerability makes me feel so human. To stand in a place that I feel unqualified to stand in, but stand there anyway. This is what is stretching me. I write a lot of really superfluous things on here: thrifting finds or how much I love maxi skirts. But I want to put on record that I feel inadequacy. I feel discomfort and vulnerability. I feel human and this is what is most important.

18 comments:

  1. It's so refreshing to read things like this. Don't get me wrong, I love the "superfluous" stuff too--most of the blogs I follow are those kinds of blogs--but it's nice to really get to see the person behind the posts. I've been feeling a lot of the same way, lately; it was amazing how the support and reassurance and "oh-my-gosh-me-too!"s flooded in after I admitted it publicly. I was reminded how vulnerability creates this wonderful kind of community. Hope you're feeling that as well.

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  2. I really loved reading this post. I enjoy all your posts, obviously, but I think you covered something that is real for everyone and it's good to read that someone else feels the way I do sometimes too. My favorite is "to stand in a place that I feel unqualified to stand in, but stand there anyway" Way to go!

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  3. firstly. i love your hair. i used to have a teal streak juuuuust like that. but then i started working for the church and they didn't love it. ha.

    also i can relate to this so much. i've been applying for a new job and just going into interviews makes me so nervous and uncomfortable. but i do like your view of this making us human. being comfortable all the time isn't really the point.

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  4. Such a sweet post! And I love your cozy looking outfit!

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  5. love you and this post so very much. and being vulnerable is good in its own way -- it opens us to so many experiences and feelings and sources of creativity that we might never have had access to otherwise. sometimes when i'm feeling less-than, it helps me to remember the amazing fact that Jesus came to the world as a human -- that even though we call him a perfect man, as a human, he experienced his own temptations, his own feelings of inadequacy. i think there's something very comforting about that -- it amplifies your faith in him, and in yourself.

    i know that you will be so great at whatever you do. you are full of life, you're smart, and hysterical, and deeply compassionate. be that person and nothing stands in your way.

    "to stand in a place that i feel unqualified to stand in, but stand there anyway" was such a good line. it may have to be my journal entry for the day.

    all my love.

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  6. YOU GOT THIS, girl. stepping out of our comfort zones is simply terrifying sometimes, but it almost always ends wonderfully. and if it doesn't, we still grow and get stronger, better, and more daring with each step. xo!

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  7. Besides, admitting that you are vulnerable makes you way stronger :)! People who insist they can deal with everything and never get hurt are actually the ones who get their nerves wrecked 1st.
    I love the streak on your hair btw :)
    x, Lara
    http://rrv12.blogspot.fi/

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  8. ahhhh that line "I feel human and this is what is most important." I completely get it and love it. this is what being human is. and it's scary and uncomfortable, but THIS is life, this is us, this is me.

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  9. "To stand in a place that I feel unqualified to stand in, but stand there anyway. This is what is stretching me."

    I am there with you right now. I often find myself wanting to seriously just RUN, but I'm still standing here. It's such an accomplished feeling.

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  10. I feel the same, now that I am living in another country, but as you said, we are only humans ;) good luck and keep going.

    xo
    Ruzu

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  11. I loved this post so much. Thanks for being so open and honest with us! I definitely agree that I don't like feeling inadequate or uncomfortable EVER, but they definitely grow us and stretch us in ways that will benefit us in the end! Hang in there! <3

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  12. so well written, thanks for sharing. in grad school, i feel completely and overwhelmingly inadequate on a daily basis and it is always a nice reminder to know i am not alone in that zone. keep on keeping on.

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  13. It is all human and that makes it beautiful! Just think once you conquer this feeling what the future will hold. I often think that I need to embrace feelings and let them wash over me and sit for a little while in that feeling then release it and move on. We can tend to hold on to feelings for longer then we are meant to. Just hang in there dear! After this the world will open up just for you.

    Chao
    Poppie
    http://thepoppie.com

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  14. Nothing more to add to this but so much YES.

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