A few months ago I read this quote from Zooey Deschanel and it has had me thinking about it ever since: "Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love."
The last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly sensitive as life takes its toll. For awhile I was constantly suppressing it and getting so angry at myself when I would cry at certain things or feel too much. Then a woman I go to church with was talking about our collective tenderness as women and that it is in our nature to be sensitive because we are nurturers and we cannot nurture without empathy. I hadn't ever thought of it that way and it has helped me slowly come to terms with my sensitivity.
So here I am admitting that I cry when I am overjoyed. I cry when I am overwhelmed. I cry when I watch Ellen DeGeneres, always. Sometimes I cry when I am singing in my car and I have this epiphany of my existence and I feel overcome by love for my family and friends and God and all the goodness that He brings to all of us. If someone cries in front of me, I will cry with them and for the first time in my life I am not ashamed of it. Showing emotion and feeling puts us in a very vulnerable state and all of my reasons for hating it are because of pride. I have wanted to look put together and if I let myself fall apart, I cannot appear as such. I have been oppressing the very gift that God has planted in all women: The gift to love and nurture and mourn with those that mourn.
So here I am admitting that I cry when I am overjoyed. I cry when I am overwhelmed. I cry when I watch Ellen DeGeneres, always. Sometimes I cry when I am singing in my car and I have this epiphany of my existence and I feel overcome by love for my family and friends and God and all the goodness that He brings to all of us. If someone cries in front of me, I will cry with them and for the first time in my life I am not ashamed of it. Showing emotion and feeling puts us in a very vulnerable state and all of my reasons for hating it are because of pride. I have wanted to look put together and if I let myself fall apart, I cannot appear as such. I have been oppressing the very gift that God has planted in all women: The gift to love and nurture and mourn with those that mourn.
So this is my ode to feeling. I will not beat myself up for it any longer. I will love it because it is my nature and it's everything I am supposed to be.
36 comments:
What a lovely post. I am an emotional being as well. I cry over the sad moments, the happy moments, and all the in-between moments, ha. And I most certainly cry when someone else is crying in front of me. It's just who I am, as a person, and as a woman.
Thank you for showing others that it's nothing to be ashamed of :)
Great post. That quote is awesome!
I am really sensitive too but have hidden that part of me for my whole life. I rarely cry anymore, but feel the tears welling up inside me and being stored away. I hope to get to a point where I can let those feelings out and truly express every aspect of who I am.
This post definitely encouraged me and gave me hope.
xx, C
I cry EVERY TIME I watch Ellen, and somehow, in this small but poignant blog post, I feel incredibly normal. So glad I have found your blog. :)
I was watching Ellen yesterday....I had tears in my eyes right at the end and I thought I was so dumb for crying at something so silly....next time, I will just cry. This is a big step for me...I used to say "I'm not a cry-er"
I'm going to stop saying that.
Thanks, bri.
Love. Especially the part about the way God has made women. We are comforters and nourishers and that is how we are created. It's ok to be emotional and sad and happy and to cry. It is ok to freaking cry!
This is so beautifully written. I love this.
This blog really spoke to me... I always felt people became angry with me when I cry. (also cry for just about anything) I tend to become very emotional, I over think everything and carry my heart on my sleeve. I'm not good With hiding my emotions. For the longest time even to this day I try so hard and even beat myself up for getting so emotional.
But you are absolutely right... I promise for now on i will not try and change who I am. and if I'm a cry baby then a cry baby I will be :) also love your pictures on instagram. - ohhello_dolly
I feel so so glad that you posted this when you did. I am currently going through the same exact feelings-er, or not feelings.
I've been apart of a bible study for going on 8 weeks now and last week we talked in depth about emotions. I have WAY more pride than I'd like to admit, and I've always felt like I wasn't a strong person if I cried or felt anything towards xyz.
Lately I've been crying at seriously everything and nothing. And I like it! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who ever battled this.
xo, Meghan
i love that quote.
Three things:
1) Beautiful quote.
2) I, too, cry at every overwhelming emotion, whether happy or sad. So glad you're embracing it!
3) LOVE that skirt/combination.
That is all. Have a lovely day!
Hello! -your post reminded me of a piece i read recently called 'I am an emotional creature' by Eve Ensler.
-Maybe give it a google, you might relate/appreciate it! :)
(of course you might have read it already..then..eeeerr...aaawkward!)
:)
I love that quote.
I have found, since becoming a mother, that there is so much more that makes me cry. Even so, I have always struggled with hiding my emotions. I do not like to cry in front of others, and it very rarely happens, because I suppress it or hide it.
I admire you for this post. For feeling like you are at that point where you are proud of your sensitivity. I think this is something that I need to work on, too. Thank you. :)
Love this. Love you.
"I have a strict rule that no one cries alone in my presence."
thank you so much for writing this. i feel like i need to hide my emotions a lot too. i feel like they make me weak. i love how youve seen it actually shows strength. and for sharing it.
I have see that quoted before and I love it! Also, I loved this post. A good reminder to be sweet and tender always.
Also, I love the times you have cried just because I was crying :) It makes the original crier not feel so alone
This is very beautiful and extremely true. I have been struggling with the same things, thank you for putting it into words that really mean something.
I love your blog, your pictures your words... Whenever I come to your blog I just find it so beautiful and relaxing.
Thank you.
Rachel Nicole @ http://rachyracheshobbycorner.blogspot.com/
Lovely post, so encouraging! :)
p.s. it is physically helpful to your body to cry. it releases chemicals that make you feel better :)
I am right there with you! For a while I thought I was more emotional than my fellow girlfriends, more than I should be, but I've realized it's just how I am!
Thank you for the post, it's nice to relate to people on things more than just fashion and hobbies.
I'm a crier! Whenever people ask 'when was the last time you cried' and everyone else is like 'uuuh I guess maybe 5 months ago' I can pretty much always answer within the last few days. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's healthier not to bottle it up! x
So. Good.
You're right on with this and I really appreciate you sharing it :)
I needed to hear it probably as much as you needed to write it ;)
Have a great weekend!
I saw that quote a while back, and it's so beautiful. It seems almost radical that it's okay to feel and be emotional and girly, especially with how everything nowadays seems to point to needing to have it all together all the time and be tough and strong. No one tells us to be emotional, but sometimes being emotional can be a good thing. This is such a great reminder :)
Also, that scarf is pretty dang cute.
this is beautiful, your photos and thoughts. thanks for sharing!
So glad to have read this! I cry all the time, and get so embarrassed like its a bad thing or something.
I cried at Church this morning when our lovely reverend was talking about her dog who died, I cried at the cafe after Church over a blind puppy with his own guide dog, and no doubt I will probably cry again today. It can be frustrating, but I will try to keep this post in mind and not be so embarrassed:)
i love you so, so much. this resonates so deeply with me. the ability to be vulnerable is one of the things that makes us most human, and something god blessed all people with, but maybe women in particular. this was such a beautiful post and one of the best i've seen in ages from any blogger.
wow, this post really touches me. i didn't even realize that i suppressed my sensitivity until now. but you're right--we shouldn't try to hide our emotions and feelings from other people. they are a gift from God and it is these very emotions that God uses to bless others. thanks so much for sharing this. xx
Gosh, I just jumped over to your blog & feel as though you have articulated what I am currently experiencing in a beautiful, concise way. I have spent years suppressing my sensitivity & am just now freeing myself from the burden of doing so. Thanks!
I cry at the drop of a hat! Seriously. This post made me feel better x
okay, could this post, that quote, or zooey deschanel BE any more perfect!!!??? i think not!
i do think girls try to surpress that part of them. that sensitive side that let's us be vulnerable and to help others, and to relate to them. here's to feelings ;)
xo TJ
Thank you for sharing this! Sometimes it seems like you are praised more for being cold and tough and that is a sign that you can handle everything life throws your way. It's nice to be reminded that tenderness is needed in the world too.
Love this post Bri. Such beautiful and true words. Thank you for sharing!
I hope you don't mind, I featured it on my Friday Favorites post today:)
<3 Leney
Beautiful quote by Zooey. Love her. I love what you wrote too. I agree.
What a beautiful post! I loved that quote too<3
blueeyednightowl.blogspot.com
a. you're super cute.
b. that zooey quote sums it up.
c. i am such a cry baby too. and i embrace it. especially when people don't know how to respond. you know, that inevitable awkwardness after the first tear?
Such a beautiful, vulnerable post. I cry when I'm content too.
Zooey is so wise!
xo L
I just found your blog and really enjoy it. Thank you for this post. I completely relate and it's nice to hear a perspective that mirrors my own.
so i know this is an older post, but i just discovered your blog and this one really caught my attention. i always feel ashamed for crying when something really moves me - which happens a lot. almost every time i'm in church, tv commercials, thinking about my brother growing up... and this was so spot on. i shouldn't feel embarrassed or less of my self for getting emotional. i'm going to work on embracing it.. let's just call it a belated new years goal ;) thanks for the great thoughts. looking forward to reading more from you.
Wow, this post resonated with me so much! I can't even tell you! I sometimes feel like I'm too emotional and feel things too deeply. It's good to be reminded that's how I was made to be. There's such a freedom in knowing that. I always want to have the that kind of heart, a soft and feeling heart. The kind of heart that isn't ashamed or afraid of showing emotion or being vulnerable. Because really what's the alternative? Being numb.. and that's definitely something I never want to be. Thank you so much for sharing this!
By the way, I just found your blog and am loving looking around! Very inspiring! :)
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