4.19.2012

Married Things.


Last week, Jordan and I went to our church one evening to meet with one of the leaders of our congregation (kind of like a pastor). While we were waiting, another couple came in and asked if we were there for the same thing and they sat down near us. They looked about our same age but they were not anyone we knew. We were sitting there for a minute when I whispered to Jordan, "Whats a not awkward way to ask them to be friends with us?" Jordan looked in their direction and then turned back to me and said, "There isn't one."

This brings us to the topic of "finding other couples to hang out with." I don't even really have a whole lot to say about it other than, it's difficult. Where is the support group for married couples with no kids that need friends? Where?!

30 comments:

  1. I'm going to be in your position in just about 4 months and the funny thing is, I could see myself asking my husband the same thing! Hopefully it will just happen but that seems sort of unlikely ha :)

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  2. I totally agree! It's so awkward to ask. My husband and I are struggling with this too. We are new to this town and it's also a challenge to meet couples with same interests, and couples who have time to add new friends to their lives. I totally feel your pain.

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  3. You guys should totally set up bible study groups. In our church we have different community groups that we get together with, and eventually you just find yourself becoming friends and hanging out. Our group is for married 20's and 30's without kids. Sound perfect? It is!

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  4. making couple friends is like dating! its the worst!

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  5. i completely agree 100%. it is way harder then making regular friends.
    i wasn't even good at making regular friends. this is something that we've been struggling with as well. i wish i had some insight, but i don't because i've literally made zero married friends since being married.

    -k

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  6. We just started going to happy hour with couples (and singles) from our church. A big group of us went out last week and it was such a great (and cheap:) way to connect with people that you normally would just say hi to or totally not connect with at all. When we start thinking of who to invite, we just call whoever pops into our heads and ask them to join. simple as that. Once you make that initial connection, the new friendship seems to come pretty easily.
    ~Jennifer

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  7. What we've done is make a New Year's Resolution to invite a different young couple from the ward over every other month for dinner or dessert (and games, if they want). Although it's turned out better some times than others, we've been able to make a lot of good friends this way. Anyway, good luck!

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  8. i agree completely! it really is hard to do.

    laurie
    www.love-laurie.com

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  9. Hahaha! I love this. You are right. It's so hard. I think it is way harder than making friends at any other stage of life. The good news is, one day, it will just happen naturally. It takes a long time to find them though. It would help if there were more young couples around here;) You can hang out with us:)

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  10. Hahaha, I went through that here. Situations are only as awkward as you make them. If they had confidently said to you, "We really like you guys. Wanna be friends?" I don't think it would be awkward. You would just be stoked.

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  11. That's just great. However, I think if you would have asked they would have totally said yes. Are they new to your ward? Or were they just visiting? Did you end up talking to them??

    Here, it's pretty easy cus us English speakers stick together and surprisingly the couples in our ward that are around our age are either American or one is Canadian. So we got lucky there. But I dread the day when we move back to the states and I have to figure this couple friendship thing out. Luckily there is always inviting couples over for dinner to get to know them. Or inviting them to see a movie with you or to some fun outing.

    And we might be moving to Utah in a year{thats when we plan to leave Switzerland} and if so, there will be soooo many couples and that will be, I imagine, hard to figure out. Who already has their set group, who is staying long enough to get to know, which couple out of the 50 to "choose". Or I suppose it could be easy peasy.

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  12. Haha so true! Things just get more difficult when you try to mesh your best friend (hubby) with two people hoping they'll click. Sometimes I'll end up clicking with the girl and my hubby won't click with the guy or vise verse. It's such an odd phase to be in.

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  13. This is an especially tough one for me. Because my husband is not a member, he isn't so inclined to hanging out with people I've met at church. It's also tough because we're currently in a branch, and there are just fewer people, and we're all pretty spread out.
    But, the thing that works for me is if they're in your ward, just start getting to know them at church, and then at some point ask if they'd like to come over for dinner, or something.

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  14. We're moving cross country in June and will be playing this game too.

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  15. I'm with you. Where do you meet couples who don't want to go to the bars every night and who are cool and fun at the same time? Maybe I'm being too picky? Maybe I'm too shy? I dont know. You should have just flat out told them you were going to be bff's right then and there! And don't take no for an answer!

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  16. Heh! I feel ya. We finally met a few couples through work, and they're just all starting to get married (no kids yet!), so that's been fun - but it's insanely hard to meet other couples! Most of them my age (27) and mister's age (36 - really, I'm pretty sure he's 25, though...lol), already have two kids - eek! :)

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  17. We are really lucky - have always had great close couple friends wherever we live - and we have moved a lot. The great thing is since having a baby 10 months ago, little has changed with these friends - they do seem to last!
    How to become friends - well to save awkwaardness later when you get to know them and have set out on the friendship path and realise you have nothing in common and there are a lot of awkward silences- I find it best to just show personal interest ask questions - not too many like an interrogation, but just a few nice easy questions, a nice remark/compliment. If they feel the same and are happy to be friends, they'll return the gesture, leading to a lovely conversation ending with - "we should hang out sometime" "do you like korean food? We know a great Korean bbq place..." etc.

    I share my blog with probably the best couple friends we have ever had. Well I blog with her - she's in Adelaide South Australia, I'm in Sydney, New South Wales. Blogging helps us keep in touch.

    Bxx

    bybande.blogspot.com

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  18. Okay I've got it. BE FRIENDS WITH US!!!!! No seriously.

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  19. I love your skirt! I am having a Sunday Blog Hop and would love for you to link up your cute blog!

    Danielle @ Blissful and Domestic
    www.blissfulanddomestic.com

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  20. Sigh.
    I'd love to be your friend :)

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  21. I can totally relate to this. I think I have thoughts about that quite frequently. It is definitely hard for us to make married friends.

    I would definitely join that support group.

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  22. Ok. I completely, utterly, and wholeheartedly commiserate with you and demand and answer to this as well! My husband is going through seminary right now, and you would think because of this we would have friends galore. Nope. We are way too busy and have terrible schedules and no way to make friends. I'm hoping that this summer we can delve into making friends while the guys aren't taking classes, but it is so hard. It has to be intentional and you have to be willing to work on it a lot more seeing as it's not like college where everyone was just thrown together and had no choice but to make friends.

    *Sigh* the never ending quest it seems...
    -Kate
    http://createsque.blogspot.com

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  23. I agree, it is SO difficult to find other married couples to hang out with...and it's totally awkward! I am so glad I found your cute blog...I am your newest follower! I would love if you would check out my blog and if you like what you see please follow back :)
    Modern Modest Beauty

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  24. This is something that my husband and I struggle with (we are young, fun, and without-child), and I have no solution for you... it is hard! But we want it so badly! I realize how desperate this sounds, and I'm totally OK with it, because I, too, have done the exact same thing that you did while sitting on that church pew. I guess we should just start holding friend interviews?

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  25. If you find that support group, let me know! I'm glad to find your blog though-- some blogs really alienate me with their constant photos of their kids (who I love), I just can't relate completely!

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  26. Our house :P Come over, I'm sure we'd all get along. We love having married friends without kids :)

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  27. I'm completely with you. And this made me smile. I felt so alone after getting married, all of my so called 'friends' disappeared, but making friends with another couple is something I have no experience in! Are there applications I'm missing somewhere?! Haha, I guess this is one of those trails and errors of being married. Next time, just start a conversation and exchange numbers! Hopefully this same advice also works for me.

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